Blog bog testing. This is major tom, Do you roger, roger? here the best joke in the world: why did the baker have smelly hands? Cos he kneaded a poo! If you dont got it you should be beaten to death with a toilet plunger!
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Someone once told me that living im london makes you racist! I've lived here for about 2 years and i have found that its not racism but just a pure hatred for the inconsiderate bas#*rds which you seem to meet all the time. I'm stuck in london for another 2 years i reckon. i hope i dont become one of these people in the meantime....... Having just thought about it, theres probably more chance of me being stabbed or shot before i end up like one of those tossers....... YOU GOT A PROBLEM BRUV?!.......WOT YOU LOOKING AT?!
The bus Was delayed by an hour and a half today so i ended up at work just before ten. I invented a game whilst i sat on the bus not moving, its called bus bingo. Basically you wait for a bus at the stop but use the bus numbers at the stop your at as a bingo card and see how many of the other buses come before yours and whether you can spot all the other buses before yours..... I won almost twice over before mine came. Also it was my second lesson of teaching. I've managed to blag another teaching lesson and pass it. This time i got my brother and my girlfriend to record a fake conversation about renting a house which they made up on the spot without much prep. Which i then created a lesson around. One of the assessors comments was that it was really good material! Haha! not teaching for another for another 2 weeks now.
I taught my second lesson yesterday! I've been so busy with assignments and deadlines recently that i had only 1 night to prepare it and made my brother and girlfriend record a conversation about renting property which i turned into a listening exercise. One day someone will catch me out on this last minute work. For my feedback i was told i didnt see to know where i was going half the time during my lesson...... As is the case with my life generally. Anyway, today is the beginning of a whole new era, i have evaded the clutches of my old manager and will get to work today as a design engineer. I will be designing your buildings and who knows i may play a part in designing one of the buildings for the london 2012 olympics! (lets hope it doesnt fall apart cos of another one of my night before jobbies). Right i'm losing valuable bus sleeping time. Gotta go.
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Im on my way to teach my first lesson. Suprisingly im not really that nervous. Maybe nerves havent sunk in yet, maybe its just that i have too much other work to do to get nervous and just want to get it over with or maybe it was the fact that we were told that as long as we don't punch kick or mock the students we aint going to fail this first lesson......... I'd better save my 'quarter blood technique' for another day
Welcome to my latest bog blog. Broadcasting my
thoughts whilst sitting on the most comfortable place
in the world.
Today is a special blog coming to you from a new
location whilst I christen the facilities at my new
university bog. Yup, one day a week I will be located
at university studying hard to become a ‘professional
qualified engineer’. (maybe I will one day be
responsible and educated enough in my own eyes to call
myself that, but for now and for the general public, a
piece of paper saying I graduated is enough to prove
my ‘worth’!)
“Well, what have you learnt so far then?” people keep
asking me. Well according to my lecture notes I should
now be able to calculate the heat loss in buildings
depending on the materials used and its location.
I regard myself as a simple person therefore to
summarise:
Single Layered Brick Walls and Single Glazed Windows =
Bad.
Cavity Walls and Double Glazed Windows with a Larger
Air Gap in between = Good.
Too much glare = bad
Lots of natural lighting = good
………………….
Good innit!
I intend to expand operations further and blog from my
tefl school bog next. Which will be probably next week
when I teach my students for the very first time.
Heres a look at my lesson plan so far.
Getting a tattoo and piercings in strange places =
good
Giving up your seat for old folk = bad
Scrumping apples = good
Harold shipman = bad
…………….
Another quick update blog while on the bus. Well i'm late for work again. Nothing new there them, i still hate my manager nothing new there either. However the due date to switch departments is 2 weeks away! Yay! ........ I just saw some hobo looking dude with a large backpack approached by a woman running, out of breath to greet him with a huge hug outside waterloo station.... How nice, assuming he's been travelling i wonder where he's been?!.......... anyway I've also now started my first term of my masters course interesting but very intense. And im also 4 weeks into a 16 week tefl course whereby i'm dvd to teach my first students in 2 weeks. All this has happened since my return from hong kong. I'm so busy i'm not sure how i'm gonna cope through the new few months. Especially with the days of eternal darkness on their way and xmas to follow......... *Sigh* i'm sure its all worth it im the end..... Dam i'm late!
Day by day you work hard for you money watching your savings in you bank go up and down. Then one day you decide to withdraw some money to put into a savings account with another bank. Say you wanted to withdraw £1000 of you own money in cash ......... Nope, not going to get it. Your gonna need passport, Drivers licence, proof of address, details of each transaction for the past week, several versions of you signature to match the one on your application form 8 years ago, Details of all my previous address! If i wanted to pay £25 for a 'chaps' transfer i can do it without any of this information. Hmmm i wonder how this £25 makes all the security cheques unnecessary. One of the mysteries of the world i guess!
Don't you think that the most satisfying times on the toilet (i'm talking about both 1's and 2's here) are the best when your so desperate that you think it may just explode and leak from any other orifice! Ahhhh! When you deprived of something it always means so much more when you finally get it.
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Had to take on the biggest spider in the world last night. Ran off faster than old, great linford christie....... Sucked it up with a vacuum cleaner in the end.
I have every weekend booked up throughout august now, and september is going to be just as busy with a planned holiday to hong kong. I also have my tefl course running until the end of december a corporate golf day at work i've decided to attend and train for and a pile of paperwork and bills over a foot tall to get through. I avoid social events to get away from situations like this. Arrgh!
I am finally back in action after getting a new mobi phone. A fancy looking one too! Ohhhhh! Well today i'm due to be attending an indian lunch with the team and department at work organised by my ,*cough great manager! Not one person i've spoken to is looking forward to it. Its compulsory if he knows you free you have to attend. There's no hope for me now, rate yourselves!
Unfortunately for the lady I saw the last week this was in fact not just a cliché but a reality.
Working in central London for the past year and I think I've seen quite a few memorable scenes.
Just over a year ago during the 7/7 bombings we witnesses an Oxford St empty of cars and buses but instead waves of people swarming around in all directions just trying to get home.
The 3 Minutes of silence whereby thousands of people lined the street to pay respect to the dead
Some weekly event where hundreds of Londoners skate or rollerblade down Oxford St causing havoc to the traffic
Some guy holding a billboard pointing to some sandwich shop whose sale pitch is to quite literally scream incomprehensibly pausing only to take a breath (Obviously on the same train of thought as Homer in that Simpsons episode where he shoots a shotgun in the street to get people to go bowling!).
But this scene last week was not uncommon I imagine, but a first time I've seen anything like it.
Just after lunch on a sunny Thursday afternoon my 'delightful' manager (That's a Sarcastic 'delightful' incase you didn't know) walks briskly into the office a heads straight for the window looking like a kid that has just bought a new toy and wants to show it off but is pretending not to make a big deal of it.
After a few looks around the office and few comments and pointing from him towards the street below the office began to awake from its post lunch slumber to take a look.
When I looked out I was shocked to see a middle aged-ish lady on her back in the middle of the street surrounded by blood around her head and a bus with a huge crack on the windscreen about 5ft away. The paramedics were quick on the scene and the police and doctors arrived shortly after. The crowds were moved away with the police tape and the lady was surrounded by the emergency staff. Because it was right outside our window we managed to see the whole thing. From accident scene, we could see in detail exactly what the paramedics and doctors were doing, from inserting metal rods into her body to the point they were collecting up the lady's personal items and false teeth which appeared to have been knocked out of her mouth onto the street.
As it all quietened down with the ambulance speeding off to the hospital we finished work as usual hoping all will be fine.
The police drew markings on the street for evidence of the accident scene of where the bus stopped and where the lady's head ended up. I now walk past this spot every day and cross Oxford Street via the same road island.
Two days following, a sign was posted 'Fatal Accident' unfortunately she didn't survive......
Enjoy life while you can!
And all this time i thought i was talking to myself. There are people listening to me rant about the world. Yes bro london sucks sometimes but work sucks all the time!
I'm 25 in two months, which means i have only 5 years until i hit middle age heights of 30. If i can figure out how to edit this blog page i will create a list of things i want to do by 30. Any suggestions from you folk out there feel free to comment.
Just found out exactly how closely IT at work can monitor our internet and emails. I would not be shocked to receive a disciplinary meeting at any time soon! Hmmm jobsite, engineeringjobs.com, monsterjobs. Metro fantasy football amongst others. Apparently they also have all my emails stored. Oops, i think I better watch what i say about management in future.
Still having minor problems emailing from my phone. Heres the bog blog I wrote from Friday:
"Ok, today was like THE best day at work ever (Sarcastically)! There was a morning meeting today where all the 'important' things were discussed and engendered, this finished around 10a.m, WYG being the fabulous and generous company that it is lays on this breakfast for the meeting consisting £60 worth of bacons baguettes, croissants and fruit. As you can imagine, a room of 15 people couldn't finish it all so it was offered to the peons and general office scummers.
The following scene was utter carnage! People were making their way to the free food quicker than towards the fire exit during a fire drill. I came jumped into the tea room with a flying jump kick knocked one colleague over to steal his baguette and gut punched another for his. 2 baguettes and 3 croissants later I was a fuller man and regained my passive state. Morale was at the highest state since the engineering department was forced out and sent to Croydon - Best Day Ever!"
What a sad office I work in.
This is a whole new concept. Blogging whilst on the bog. This will now become a regular feature. As i figure this is in fact the most efficient way of utilising my 'isolation' time.
A new female sat at the hot desk next to me at work today and the amount of slimey guys who tried to chat her up was disgusting! Not just the fact they're already married but she was really ugly too. But 'its worth a try' apparently. i'm ashamed i even know these people.
Last week I received a letter in the post, a letter I receive monthly
which I am beginning to dread each time I'm due its receipt. My bank
statement!
Over the past year I have watched a healthy 4 figure sum get whittled
down into what now appears to be a 4 figure sum but in a colourful red
font. The problem I have is the cost of living in my fair city of
London. How can anyone on a low junior salary afford to work and live
here? Especially for those who indeed don't enjoy what they do and
instead live for the evenings and weekends.
Id say my girlfriend and I eat out for dinner about 2-3 times in a
working week and then spend the weekend off out to Devon, Sussex or
anywhere fate or invitation should take us. Because we don't drink or go
clubbing often I cannot blame a 'night out on the lash' as the reason
for excessive spending nor do I really treat myself to many material
possessions. Quite simply, don't earn enough to justify a regular
living. However, I am not overly thrifty and I continue this lifestyle
because I enjoy it and it takes me away from the haunts of my misery at
work! ..... But here begs the question... If I "choose" this lifestyle
because I dislike work and want to escape from it every evening/weekend,
but work doesn't even pay me enough money to dissolve my misery by
spending then why am I even doing it?!!! I am effectively digging
myself into a hole and not even enjoying it along the way!
Time to re-evaluate I think! #End
For the past two weeks now i've had a severe pain in the neck brought on by either, sleeping in a 'funny' position whilst watching the snooker or a sudden inspirational jogging session (both occured on the same day, so i shall never know which was the cause). These pains quickly branched out and developed back pains and headaches! After druging myself with aspirin for several day i went to see an osteopath to take a look. After 45mins i came out fine and feeling alright until three days after. Pain strikes again. I'm not having a moan to the world but to share an observation of how my mood seems so closely linked to my health. During my pains i'm really hard to talk to and not very agreeable but after drugging myself up with medicine i find myself suddenly able to talk to people i usually wouldnt get on with. So are the super happy friendly people in this world constantly in some kind of euphoria?!
I'm really annoyed. I wrote a really really long blog from my phone the other day, (took me my whole commute to work, which is about an hour) then as i went to send it, my phone froze and decided to delete my blog without a trace and displayed 'error'! Conclusion: Technology is great until they go wrong!
If this email blog works, it means i can now blog to the site by sending emails from my phone. Magic!
